Not-Actually-Official Myers-Briggs Test

Most people spend years studying psychology and getting fancy framed degrees in order to put together theories and tests like this. Me? I put on a sweater that resembles a lab coat and speak in a fake British accent as I planned out these questions (everyone knows British accents make you smarter). I could also put together a quick bar graph on Excel with made-up statistics if you like.

No? Well, then, you’ll just have to take this test as it is: a fun kinda-sorta Myers-Briggsish exercise. I tried to be as accurate as I could without being boring. (Most of these tests are as dry as a crouton.) There are four sections for each of the four pairs of traits that I’ve talked each Wednesday.

Pick whichever answer that fits the best, even if it’s not exactly accurate. They might possibly be a little exaggerated in either direction. Sorry about that. It was just too tempting.

For you writers out there, use this test on your characters too. It can be really fun. I found out that my latest narrator has the personality type that I’m supposed to marry, according to the (almost entirely bogus) analysis on one of the Myers-Briggs websites out there. Also, I asked my sister which character in that story she identified most with. She picked the one with her exact same type, even though he’s a very different kind of person than she is. Coincidence? Maybe. Anyway, it’s interesting.

And be honest with your answers, kids. You can’t cheat on a personality test, although you’re welcome to try.

Introvert vs. Extrovert

1. It’s been a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day for you. Who knows?
1. Pretty much everyone around you. You have to find someone to talk to. Or complain to. Or get a hug from. Or punch. Maybe all four.
2. A few friends who know you well enough to ask what’s wrong.
2. Who would you least want to be stuck on a plane next to?
1. The creepy guy who doesn’t say a word and only grunts when you try to talk to him.
2. The really talkative, friendly person who wants to know all about your life even though you just met.
3. How often do you get interrupted?
1. Um, I’m actually more likely to do the interrupting. But not on purpose!
2. I can barely get out a complete—
4. Your small group is going around in a circle and praying. Your first thought is:
1. Woohoo! It’s so encouraging to be able to pray together out loud.
2. If I fake a sore throat and pass, will they judge my spirituality? Probably. Okay, I’ll say something, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.
5. After spending a day at a reunion or an event where you’re around a lot of people, you feel…
1. Energized. Why does it have to be over so soon?
2. Exhausted. Time to recharge and get ready for next year.

Mostly As give you a point in the extrovert direction, and Bs correspond to introvert. (Same with all of the other categories.) If you have a tie, you clearly have no personality. Also, you didn’t answer all the questions. Nice try.

Sensing vs. iNtuition

1. You are holding the worst study guide known to mankind for your final exam. It….
1. Has a few really vague essay question prompts. You know there’s more on the exam than that, and even if it was just the essay, you have no guidance for what to write.
2. Has a list of ridiculously specific facts that you have to memorize and repeat. There is no way you’re going to be able to cram all of this in your head.
2. A conversation with a friend over coffee was a lot of fun, and you feel like you really connected with the other person. What did you talk about?
1. All of your common interests (favorite character on a T.V. show, who should win the next Superbowl, why everyone should get their dogs from an animal shelter, etc.).
2. Some question of life that’s been on your mind (whether the U.S. will still be a superpower in 100 years, whether we’re morally responsible to help stop all the evil in the world that we’re aware of, what makes music and art meaningful, etc.)
3. You’re in charge of babysitting the most hyperactive eight-year-old on the planet. You come armed with….
1. A stack of coloring books, seek-and-finds, craft ideas, and a movie or two. No way this kid is getting bored.
2. Your imagination—you can build forts, come up with random Lego adventures, have a treasure hunt…pretty much anything.
4. When you get an essay or research paper back, your strongest point is usually…
1. Organization and precise, accurate information.
2. The voice and flow of the argument.
5. If you had to choose only one of these sets, which is most important to you?
1. Who, what, when, where. Sure, why and how are important, but without these, you don’t have anything to ground them in. Plus, these are more straightforward.
2. Why and how. Without these two questions, the other ones don’t really matter. Besides, they’re more open-ended and interesting.

Bonus: If you had to think really hard about that last question and apply it to a specific situation, or if you still just think it was super vague and don’t exactly understand it, you probably get another “S” point.

Thinking vs. Feeling

1. When people are writing your obituary, which set of descriptions would you most want applied to yourself?
1. Honest, courageous, and intelligent.
2. Kind, passionate, and patient.
2. The main problem with Disney princesses is…
1. They constantly do stupid things and sing annoying love songs. Following your heart is just not a good idea.
2. Some of them are wishy-washy damsels in distress who don’t have much character development.
3. If a kid comes to your door with a fundraiser, what does he have to do to get you to buy some overpriced item?
1. Persuade me that it’s something I couldn’t get anywhere else, or that the cause I’m supporting is good enough to outweigh the extra cost.
2. Look adorable and mention that he’ll get some kind of prize for however many he sells.
4. Why would you make a good secret agent?
1. You’re good at thinking logically, staying focused, and coming up with back-up plans.
2. People trust you, you have good intuitions, and you care about the cause you’re fighting for.
5. Someone who you trusted turns out not to be very trustworthy after all. Your reaction?
1. Well, you’re obviously not going to tell them any more confidential information. Now it’s time to clean up the mess and move on.
2. You’re really hurt, and decide not to trust them again. Except maybe if they apologize….

Judging vs. Perceiving

1. Which VeggieTales character are you most like?
1. Bob – he’s the one who knows what’s going on and holds the show together.
2. Larry – he’s got the wacky sense of humor and creativity.
2. Someone opens up your planner. They’re most likely to find…
1. Every day filled with appointments and obligations written in neatly.
2. A few really important things to remember, but mostly empty space.
3. The last time you cleaned off your desk was…
1. Six months ago, because you keep everything in its right place, for the most part, so you mostly just straighten up a little.
2. Six months ago, and now you can’t really see much of the desk. But you know where everything is.
4. Which most closely resembles what your job list would look like when planning a vacation?
1. Coming up with the schedule, making sure everything we need is packed, calculating gas mileage, and keeping everything within the budget.
2. Packing the car, making the trail mix, coming up with an on-the-spot Plan B when we get rained out one day, inventing fun travel games, and keeping everyone from stressing out when there’s a delay.
5. How often are you late?
1. Rarely, and if I am, there’s a really good reason.
2. Define “late.” It’s kind of like the speed limit—five minutes over isn’t really late. So probably just every now and then.

If these results conflict with what you’ve received from another test, I suggest that you ignore the countless hours of research and analysis that go into those tests and side with my ridiculous blog version. Every time.

Click here to go to a website that tells you a little more about the typical traits of your type. There are a million of these websites out there, but this one was so creepily accurate for me that I picked it to include after this test.

(Also, Thomas Paine, one of the only famous people I’m related to, has my same personality type, ENFP. Two different people in my American Lit class who didn’t know we were related said that his writing style reminded them of me. Can certain traits be passed down for hundreds of years? I don’t know, but it’s interesting to think about.)

Also, you should comment and tell me what type you are. It’s kind of fun to know.

Hope you enjoyed this non-technical look at Myers-Briggs. It’s been fun, but I think I’m ready to move on. Ironically, too much metacognition makes my head hurt.