How Many Crazy Writer Tendencies Do You Have?

I realized I hadn’t had a quiz on here for a long time. And, since crazy people, by definition, don’t know that they’re crazy, I thought this handy guide might be helpful. Enjoy. And let me know what your level of insanity is.

Say you were alone at a cabin in the mountains, well-stocked with supplies, in November, probably hunting a turkey for your family’s Thanksgiving dinner. If a freak avalanche trapped you there for the winter, how long would it take you to go stir-crazy?

1. Probably about a week, if that. I couldn’t handle not being around people. 
2. Around Christmas I’d get a little lonely, but I could keep myself busy and stick it out the whole winter without going completely insane.
3. Are you kidding me? I’ve waited my whole life for an opportunity like this! Think of all the writing I could get done!
4. Wait, why was I hunting a turkey when I can buy one at the grocery store? This question doesn’t even make sense.

How heated is your opinion on the Oxford comma?

1. That’s a kind of punctuation, right? I think I’ve heard of it, but I don’t really care.
2. I mean, I can see both points of view, although I could argue one side over the other. Really, just follow the rules of whatever publication you’re writing for.
3. Oh my goodness, don’t even start. I have had five heated debates about this in the past year. Friendships were ended. It was bad.
4. Oxford…that’s in England, right? I like England.

How often do you notice mistakes on signs, newsletters, ads, etc., and how much do they upset you?

1. Every now and then. It’s kind of annoying, especially since most of them are pretty blatant.
2. Fairly often. I have to resist the urge to correct them sometimes, because, honestly, you’d think people would proofread those things.
3. ALL THE TIME. I’m not kidding. There’s probably even a mistake in this blog post somewhere. They’re everywhere. Like bacteria. And I’m a grammar germaphobe. I will find them all and KILL THEM!
4. There are way to many things in the world that really matter to get upset about typos. Seriously, people, calm down. Your getting upset about nothing.

Say you just wrote a story. Something really dramatic happens at the end. Are you surprised?

1. Um…no. I wrote it. So I was planning it the whole time.
2. Most likely. I mean, even if  outlined the plot, there can still be things that I don’t think of until I type the sentence where they happen.
3.  Of course! I never saw that coming! ISN’T THAT THE BEST?
4. You lost me at the “you just wrote a story” part.

Scoring: Give yourself 10 points for every “1,” 30 points for every “2,” 50 points for every “3,” and -50 points for every “4.” Then add on the following…

Bonus Round!

What percentage of your friends would probably get a high score on this quiz? (10 point for every 10%)

Do you own something with a quote from a literary classic and/or a picture of the author’s face? (20 points)

            Is that something a coffee mug? (20 bonus points)

            Do you own the literary classic that the quote is taken from? (30 bonus points)

Have you cried for a fictional character in the past month? (10 points per protagonist, 20 points per antagonist or minor character)

Have you ever scoffed or sniffed disdainfully when someone mentioned liking the Twilight books? (10 points)

            Have you ever launched into a point-by-point literary criticism of why Bella is a
            terrible protagonist when someone mentioned liking Twilight? (100 points)

How many famous first lines did you guess correctly in this literature quiz? (10 points per correct answer)

Results:

Fewer than 50 points: Congratulations! You are not a crazy writer, not in the least. Go! Be normal! And maybe stop by every now and then and tell the rest of us what that feels like.

50-150 points: You might have a few crazy writer tendencies, but you have them pretty well under control. People might not even know how nerdy you really are.

150-300: While it’s pretty safe to call you a crazy writer, it’s the affectionate kind of crazy. More like quirky. And that’s okay…right?

More than 300: Um…you may actually be crazy. Certifiably so. You are the kind of writer that people make jokes about when they talk about stereotypical crazy writers. Which isn’t bad. As long as you promise you won’t write me as a character in your novel.