The Myers-Briggs Conspiracy

If they had a place to subtitle blogs (or if I was self-confident enough to use a colon in the title of something that isn’t an academic paper), this post would be called The Myers-Briggs Conspiracy: Or Why My Personality Is Culturally Advantaged.

I am an ENFP. Here is a cool graphic representation of what the personality test people think this means.

Seriously, look at the words written on the head. I sound like the most delightful person you would ever want to meet. I practically exude rainbow-colored light all around me and cause flowers to bloom in my path.

You know what it doesn’t say? It doesn’t tell you what I struggle with and what my weaknesses are, even the ones that are directly tied to my ENFP-ness. Expressive? Yes, to the point of being a show-off. Persuasive? Mm hmm, with manipulative tendencies. Value authenticity? Right on, and I might actively avoid you if I think you’re shallow. Sociable? Sure, and also dependent on the approval of others.

(I didn’t put up just this picture because I’m a crazy egotist. I just couldn’t figure out how to download all of them as one picture. Here's the rest of the gallery--find your own type. If you don't know your type, check out a quiz I posted a while back.)

Not-Actually-Official Myers-Briggs Test

Most people spend years studying psychology and getting fancy framed degrees in order to put together theories and tests like this. Me? I put on a sweater that resembles a lab coat and speak in a fake British accent as I planned out these questions (everyone knows British accents make you smarter). I could also put together a quick bar graph on Excel with made-up statistics if you like.

No? Well, then, you’ll just have to take this test as it is: a fun kinda-sorta Myers-Briggsish exercise. I tried to be as accurate as I could without being boring. (Most of these tests are as dry as a crouton.) There are four sections for each of the four pairs of traits that I’ve talked each Wednesday.

Pick whichever answer that fits the best, even if it’s not exactly accurate. They might possibly be a little exaggerated in either direction. Sorry about that. It was just too tempting.

For you writers out there, use this test on your characters too. It can be really fun. I found out that my latest narrator has the personality type that I’m supposed to marry, according to the (almost entirely bogus) analysis on one of the Myers-Briggs websites out there. Also, I asked my sister which character in that story she identified most with. She picked the one with her exact same type, even though he’s a very different kind of person than she is. Coincidence? Maybe. Anyway, it’s interesting.

And be honest with your answers, kids. You can’t cheat on a personality test, although you’re welcome to try.

Pretending to be Myers-Briggs, Part 3

When we were discussing the topic of emotions at the lunch table one day, I made the observation, “My brain can beat up my heart.”

Sometimes this is true, and I can tell my emotions to sit down and shut up. And other times it’s definitely not. I’m a thinker-feeler. I love debate and heart-to-heart conversations. My driving force is justice, or maybe mercy, depending on the day. The theological problem of evil hit me with a two-punch blow; I struggled with it on an experiential “heart” level and a logical “mind” level.

By all accounts, my personality shouldn’t exist. But it does, because we’re people, and people are more complicated than tests used to categorize them. Because I’m a thinker-feeler hybrid, though, there’s always a lot of conflict going on in this area of my personality.

It’s not a professional boxing match. It’s more like the part in Remember the Titans when Gerry and Julius start punching each other, someone casually yells, “Fight!” and everyone shows up to cheer and take sides. I’m sure it would be fun to watch my brain and my heart go at it.

Pretending to be Myers-Briggs, Part 1

A while ago on Facebook, a few friends of mine posted a helpful informational picture-thingie (there is probably a trendy name for this that I’m too uncool to know). Its title was “How to Care For Introverts,” and despite the fact that it made introverts sound like houseplants, I found it very interesting.

Some of the tips were “Never embarrass them in public,” “Don’t interrupt them,” and “Enable them to find one best friend who has similar interests and abilities.” (Although heaven knows how you enable that…set them up with an online best-friend-finding service that tests their compatibility?) The last one, of course, was “Don’t try to remake them into extroverts.”

Fact of life: extroverts often don’t understand introverts…and, possibly to a lesser degree, introverts often don’t understand extroverts. Being only 10% extroverted on the official Myers Briggs scale, I am going to pretend that I am in some strange middle group that is either super conflicted or mysteriously above petty personality preference distinctions. Therefore, I will dispense wise advice from my position of authority on this subject.